dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
