Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
