is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize