i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
