Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
