Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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