Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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