dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
