There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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