Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
