How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He felt like a one man threesome
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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