Got a toothbrush?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
