hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Semen is not good for contacts.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
