I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
