Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
