It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
