I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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