I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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