I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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