toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
and you fell through a lawn chair
wow bdsm is so cute
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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