shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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