last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
