i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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