next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
