I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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