overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
