If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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