I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
