If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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