is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
