I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
