why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
