Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
