I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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