would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
