i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
