if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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