I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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