1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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