Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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