they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
