Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
