I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
