SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
