Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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