3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
