I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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