where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
