thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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