Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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