moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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