just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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